


What a snacc

by notsofreshavocado



Series: Nevermoor crack [1]
Category: Nevermoor Series - Jessica Townsend
Genre: :), Aight so ive been told this gives off vore vibes, I need sleep, M/M, Milmay is a snacc, Or Is It?, and a horrible one at that, and answers, ezra just wants smth to consoom, im so sorry, please, please dont minde me, save yourself from this misery, so if youre uncomfortable (which you probably are), unrequited love minus all the angst, why the fuck did I write this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-06
Updated: 2020-10-06
Packaged: 2021-03-08 04:09:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 424
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26859490
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/notsofreshavocado/pseuds/notsofreshavocado
Summary: Mildmay wants senpai to notice him. Ezra only has one thing in mind. Oh and mildmay is a cupcake.
Relationships: Ezra Squall & Mildmay
Series: Nevermoor crack [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1985320
Comments: 4
Kudos: 11





	What a snacc

Ezra was hungry. Very hungry. Very very hungry. So hungry he could eat a horse. Maybe a man. Maybe both. He doesn't know which one he'd prefer. Does horse taste good?

Mildmay however, was definitely _not_ feeling anything of a sort. Due to certain reasons the author will not disclose (mostly because of the fact that they had been half asleep while writing this), he was no longer a human, but a cupcake. Or was it a muffin? I don't know.

Anyway he was a cupcake/muffin, a very plain one at that, filled with raisins. He was filled with the most raisin-y raisins to ever raisin. They were so raisin you could hear oatmeal cookies screech in agony. He was nothing but a mediocre cupcake filled to the brim with raisins, which perfectly captured his entire personality. Great going mildmay.

Ezra burst into his study, trying to figure out if he could bring the hunt to life and consume it. You see, when men get desperate, they are forced to do many things that they wouldn't normally like to do. Ask mildmay here, who had locked his non existent raisin eyes with ezras and _hoooooooooooooo boy did it suddenly get hot in here_. He saw ezra walking toward him, and he could feel the flour raise to his cheeks. He looked up to him with his stupid little raisins which apparently work as eyes? Idk. Ezra however, didnt notice and/or didnt care. He was just hungry. He couldn't be bothered with foodstuff going all goo-goo eyes at him. So without warning, he just stuffed that horrible excuse of a pastry into his mouth, only to spit it out after finding out that _no they weren't chocolate chips eweweweeewwwwwwww_. Ezra rubbed his tongue with sandpaper, poured oil onto whatever the _fuck_ that was and burned the entire building because anything that has come into contact with that abomination from the depths of hell is forever tainted and must be burnt to the ground.

Meanwhile mildmay shrieked in pain, his entire being set aflame, and also because the one person he truly loved spat him out like cheap chewing gum. Silly mildmay, didnt you know? No one loves raisins. Especially not the ones that impose chocolate. How dare you. How dare you taint the name of chocc with your evil wrinkled grape skin. What a loser, honestly. Thinking ezra could ever love him.

And there went Mildmay, soon reduced to nothing but ash, drowning in flames and his own tears. Like he should be.

**Author's Note:**

> Pls help me


End file.
